Two full lifetimes ago, in my first career (I'm now in my third), I was the Weapons officer on a U. S. Navy guided missile destroyer, USS Parsons DDG-33. I reported to Parsons in July of 1971 and, after the ship moved to Japan, spent from December 1971 until just before Christmas of 1972 in the combat zone of Vietnam. In January 1973 I was due for relief and a lieutenant named "Bob S." took over from me so that I could get the first shore duty tour in over fifteen years of service.
Bob was a "real" combat veteran, having served a tour in-country in Vietnam and had earned a purple heart while there. To me, who had spent almost 44 months in the combat zone, always on board cruisers and destroyers, Bob was the real "hero," since he had served in much greater danger than I and had paid a price for that service. He took over as Parsons' Weapons Officer and, from all that I heard, served admirably in that capacity.
I left Parsons and served for a year and a half on the staff of the Commander, Naval Forces, Japan, working in Naval Intelligence. Then, in October of 1974 I was transferred to the Surface Warfare Officer's School Command at Newport, Rhode Island for what I knew upfront was to be my final active duty tour. I was Lieutenant Commander by that time and I ended up being in charge of all of the weapon system instruction at the Cruiser-Destroyer Head of Department School (previously known as "Destroyer School," or, colloquially, as "DesTech"). I was also the school's instructor in Surface-to-Air Guided Missiles, or SAMS.
Shortly after my arrival, I was pulled aside and given the job or re-organizing all of the Weapons instruction into one "Combat Systems Branch" for the school. And, best of all, I was given an assistant to help with the SAM instruction - one "Bob S." From December 1974 until my retirement from active duty on December 1, 1977, Bob and I got to know one another quite well. I learned a tremendous amount about him and from him, even though he was my subordinate officer.
First of all, Bob was exceptionally proficient in all of the technical aspects of guided missiles. In time we were also handed the task of teaching the Harpoon Anti-Ship missile system and Bob applied himself wonderfully to learning that new system (the precursor, in many ways, of the Tomahawk missile used in Dessert Storm). Bob explored tactical elements of deploying the Harpoon at a time when the Navy, itself, still didn't know what to do with this new toy.
Secondly, Bob was always available to answer questions of issues that I might raise, some of which had moral consequences. His advice was always sage - always "spot on" to use a old phrase. When I, who had become single via the divorce route, was tempted to date our secretary, Bob told me why that was not a good idea and reminded me of the damage it could bring into our branch, he was completely correct and so my bright idea for "a date" ended up being a "coffee" time to get to know my administrative assistant a bit better - and that was a far better route to take than the one I first envisioned.
Finally, I came to learn (or to confirm long-held suspicion) that Bob was a celibate gay man. By then I had come to know Bob, to trust him and his judgement, and to value his friendship. So his "secret" was something that had to be protected at all times, for there are always those who perceive an opening to advancement be the destruction of the career of another person. I am glad that during my tenure, no harm came to Bob in his career by the words of anyone else. This blog is the first time that I have ever publicly taken notice of Bob's sexuality.
At that time, I felt that his sexuality was his own business and should play no role in either advancing or delaying his career. I was, by the standard of the day, quite forward looking. But I have come to see that the entire conversation should be unnecessary, for human sexuality is a gift that we are born with. Gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals, and trans-sexuals are all the equal - total equal of this heterosexual male. All of us, glbth, have God-given gifts and fully deserve the entire spectrum of possibilities to be ours. No one should be denied something based upon their sexuality.
My Church, the Episcopal Church, has been struggling with this for almost fifty years. The topic first came up in the 1960s and we began to talk about it. We talked about it for forty years. In 1998, the highest deliberative body in the Anglican Communion of Churches (of which The Episcopal Church is but one Church of many) passed a resolution that tried to "split" the differences, but merely managed to muddy the waters. It stated that same-sex relations were impediments to marriage and ordination. Then it said, but homosexual people are full members of the Body of Christ and swore that we all, throughout the world, were committed to a listening process, to hear the experiences of gay and lesbian people.
The Episcopal Church, which had been talking for almost forty years - very loudly - began to listen more deeply and then, in 2003, took action. We ordained a practicing homosexual man as Bishop of New Hampshire. And all of those parts of the Anglican Communion that had their fingers crossed when they resolved in 1998, screamed bloody murder that we Episcopalians are damaging the communion. Funny, I thought we were simply actually listening, dialoging with our glbt friends, and then taking their experiences to heart.
As a progressive and broad Episcopalian, I am heartened by what The Episcopal Church (TEC) has done. Will it make us more popular with the average American? Of course not. Will it make us more popular with God? That is a non-sensical question, for we all already have God's love. We are called to practice it. I have the hope and continue to pray that we are indeed practicing Godly love as we continue to work to include all of God's children in this Church.
Thanks be to God, the father of our Lord and Saviour Jesus the Christ, who lives and reigns with the Holy Spirit, one God, calling us to become. Amen. TAD+
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